Latest Intel
All field reports submitted to the Bureau, sorted by most recent activity.
Subject
Fox’s Rounds
Field Notes
“Round. Perfect. Tautological. The first is as the last, is as the first. Delicious.”
Subject
Fox’s Viennese Fingers
Field Notes
“When the chunky, dunky goat meets my tongue, I am no longer in the room. File a missing persons report. Be back in approximately one packets time (5 minutes).”
Subject
Chocolate malted milk (Tower Gate/Lidl)
Field Notes
“The tea ran dry a long time ago as this is biscuit 15 of 23 in the pack. If I stopped to breathe in between biscuits, maybe I’d make myself another cup of tea. This was one of the best biscuit experiences of the year. The post Saturday greasy spoon cup of tea. Everyone is peaceful. The only stir that can be heard, is the stir of the teabag. Meanwhile, I’m in the next room, covered in shrapnel, and I’m about to remove a small population of malted milks from the earth.”
Subject
Gingerbread & white chocolate cookies (m&s)
Field Notes
“Sensational flavour. Tastes like Christmas. The quality of chocolate also slapped and you know I like the crunchy edged cookie by now. This is like the 3rd evolution of a ginger crunch and I think they’ve taken it as far as it can go.”
Subject
Petit-beurre Tablette
Field Notes
“French”
Subject
Belgian Triple Chocolate Cookie
Field Notes
“There's not much naughtier than a triple chocolate Belgian cookie. You can feel the gluttony flowing through your arteries. I was surprised to see they've changed these to a see-through package to give it a more luxurious feel. It worked. They were exceptional. Dunkability is always hard to dunk a cookie. For a start, they don't fit in your mug. I just don't think this type of cookie wants to be dunked. Value is an interesting one because, pound per gram, this is probably not as good as your regular packets of biscuits. However, for what you're actually getting and what you're paying is so much more than pound per gram. You get a decadent burst of pleasure.”
Subject
Island Bakery Oat Crumbles
Field Notes
“Delicious buttery oat biscuit. Artisanal hobnobs. Warms your cockles after a craggy coast walk. Dunked in a pint of caledonian best (not included in score).”
Subject
Stockan’s “Orkney Thick” oatcakes
Field Notes
“These taste kinda like hobnobs for the diabetic. Surprisingly good dunking. Could also be used as subflooring”
Subject
Grandino triple chocolate cookies (Sondey)
Field Notes
“From a pitiful Croatian selection from the pathetically small Lidl biscuit aisle, this set of cookies is head and shoulders above the rest. But the rest are all biscuiting dwarves. Some potential - but nowhere near its British Lidl cousins. Overwhelmingly, the taste is of cheap chocolate. But still good.”
Subject
Deluxe All Butter Stem Ginger Cookies
Field Notes
“No additional notes provided.”
Subject
Biscoff (Lotus)
Field Notes
“Hands down the most moreish biscuit on the market. I sat down after a long day of work and before I knew it I had inhaled the whole pack, obviously leaving one for the Mrs. Approach with caution. As I like to say. When the fun stops, keep going. Because you can’t stop.”
Subject
LU Le petit beurre
Field Notes
“I really hate to give it to the french but they have worked out a way to absolutely juice the humble plain biscuit. Dangerously buttery. These biscuits are probably the reason that fat french peasants exist. Dunkability rated from memory, as dunking with the stella was not allowing the biscuit to show its true potential”
Subject
Jam Creams (Tower Gate / Lidl)
Field Notes
“Dunkability would have been 10 if these were not so chewy - the jam doesn't lend itself to dunking well. These are a great little treat once in a while. Value would have been higher but you only get 8-10 in a pack... And that pack doesn't last long.”
Subject
White chocolate Leibniz
Field Notes
“Just when you thought you'd seen it all: a white chocolate Leibniz! Not as good as the milk chocolate counterpart I must say. A little bit more processed taste. But god is it delicious still. Would get again, although not habitually.”
Subject
Milk Chocoloate Hobnobs (Gluten Free)
Field Notes
“Got these for my Granny because she can't do wheat - and well... a few may have gone missing in transit. I have to say... I'm impressed. Much of the usual flavour was there. Dunkability high. Just not the biggest chocolate hobnob fan in general. Call me controversial - but prefer the regular kind. All in all though - the gluten wasn't missed. I am very much glutent TOLERANT.”
Subject
Oreo Strawberry Cheesecake
Field Notes
“As with many of these flavoured gimmicks - the usual let down. Not even sure if let down is the right word, as you know they're going to be crap already. This is just... wrong.”
Subject
Chocolate malted milk (Tower Gate/Lidl)
Field Notes
“Damn these little badgers sure got boshed off. 10 bickies 10 stellas - dinner sorted.”
Subject
Digestives (Tower Gate / Lidl)
Field Notes
“Digestives definitely have their place in the world, but that place is at the bottom of a cheesecake.”
Subject
Fox’s Crunch Creams
Field Notes
“Is this the greatest dunker of our generation? I challenge anyone to suggest something that's better at dunking.”
Subject
Rainbow cookies (Asda)
Field Notes
“Disappointing. As you can see - I was excited to bring this baby home, where I sat and tucked in with a cuppa and the football on. I’m a big fan of rainbow biscuits and cookies, mainly for the soft meets crunchy texture complexity - however this was a suboptimal investigation into one dimensional, processed sawdust. Tastes like if montesanto made cookies. You could also probably store these in a nuclear bunker for 30 years - may come in useful the way things are going. Difficult and sad times - but mainly because of the biscuits.”