Latest Intel
All field reports submitted to the Bureau, sorted by most recent activity.
Subject
Fox’s Crunch Creams
Field Notes
“Well and truly in the dunk hall of fame. Could be the dunk goat, with jam creams. Only not more moreish because they’re so rich.”
Subject
Bounty soft baked cookie
Field Notes
“A bit synthetic and too soft for my cookie preference, but nevertheless - a solid cookie. Potentially the best of the gimmick lines; mars cookie, twix cookie, etc”
Subject
Sapori Cantuccini
Field Notes
“This biscuit is like if crusty stale toast was almondy and delicious. My mum got them for me from Italy as a thanks for dog sitting. She knows I love biscuits.”
Subject
Zero zingy dark choc ginger oaties
Field Notes
“Well I see why they are called zero because there’s absolutely nothing to rave about here. Cheap tasting - only redeeming quality was the crunch. I’m not a dunker so maybe it has the potential to claw a point there but in all honesty the rest of the pack is going straight in the bin. Advertised as zero sugar but jammed full of sweeteners - safe to say there’s nothing sweet here. Very disappointing!”
Subject
Milk chocolate cookie (Tesco)
Field Notes
“Wow they were reduced so the value is even better. They're quite thick and probably too big to dunk so you have to break it in half to dunk, which is why it didn't score high dunk ability rating. Yeah I think of the supermarket cookies, this is right up there, nice and thick, unusually crispy”
Subject
BN Chocolate
Field Notes
“Remember these? I'm led to believe they're back in UK shops but I don't recall seeing them lately. Another Brussels purchase. It's a comparable biscuit to the Prinzen Rolle - dry, brittle biscuit with cream filling - but the chocolate cream to biscuit ratio is more generous, and the biscuit itself is tastier. Had to stop myself after 6. Will be returning to them this evening.”
Subject
McVitie's Digestives Pink Raspberry and Cream
Field Notes
“I'm not usually one for biscuit gimmicks and limited editions etc but given the bureau's mandate, I thought I'd give these a go. They're decent. Would I prefer one with normal milk or dark chocolate? I probably would. One rating in the CRUMB score stands out: these things are naughty enough to make the Epstein files. Demolished within the hour.”
Subject
Orange Club Bar (McVitie's)
Field Notes
“This is a great all-rounder. I just feel like it could be better value, and also the quality of chocolate could be better.”
Subject
McVitie's Digestive Lemon Cheesecake
Field Notes
“I knew it was gonna be chemically, artifical nonsense - but I bought them anyway, as they need to be tried. This biscuit format digestive on top and cream-filled lends itself very well to dunkability, however taste just wasn't there.”
Subject
Fox’s Classic
Field Notes
“This is a rare find and it takes me back to my childhood days. Fox’s have done it again. Would have made more moreishness score but they are so decadent that it's hard to eat many more than two or three.”
Subject
Jammy Wheels (Co op, gluten free)
Field Notes
“Bought these for my gran as she’s gluten intolerant a while back. Surprisingly ok. The jam is less chewy than the jammy dodger cousin. The shortbread feels less processed too.”
Subject
Prinzen Rolle
Field Notes
“Purchased in Brussels, under the impression it's a German brand. Au contraire. The Prinzen Rolle was first designed by a Belgian biscuit maker after a trip to England (presumably Bermondsey) where he learned how to make dry, long-life biscuits. He achieved both of those things with the Prinzen, and nevertheless they became a mainstay of German childhoods (the factory relocated to just inside the German border in the 20th century). Long-lasting? Not while I'm around. Great dunker (though I don't partake) but a little on the boring side.”
Subject
Milk chocolate butter biscuits (Belmont / Aldi)
Field Notes
“Basically a Leibniz - but doesn’t bear the philosopher’s name. Cute little designs - still got demolished.”
Subject
Dark chocolate gingers (Lidl)
Field Notes
“Good dunking - only not higher as the chocolate melting makes it a bit logistically difficult. Ten to a pack - although smaller than on the pic.”
Subject
Biscoff Creams (Lotus)
Field Notes
“Damn ! Only 2 left in the pack... this is truly a premium bicky for when you want a treat!”
Subject
Biscoff Creams (Lotus)
Field Notes
“This is one of the greatest dunking biscuits of all time. Honestly try and find one better. The only thing that brings it down is its value. It's quite a premium biscuit. It's so moreish, so so moreish, and it's mildly naughty. Anything with this level of cream in the middle is quite naughty. And yeah I ate the whole pack”
Subject
Digestives strawberries and cream
Field Notes
“Millennial nonsense. Had to eat 4 just to get my head round it.”
Subject
Hobnobs Sticky Toffee Pudding
Field Notes
“Really not as bad as you might think. Not the usual chemical taste associated with these flavoured gimmicks. Pleasantly surprised.”
Subject
Plain viennese finger
Field Notes
“Absolute garbage - wouldn't feed to my dog. Taking the biscuit!”
Subject
Lidl Bakery Cookie
Field Notes
“Nice but not dunkable. One of the few places I prefer white chocolate... how bizaare!”